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Season 2 Episode 11 Marine Veteran Omar Fuentes

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Welcome back. Today I have the pleasure of speaking with fellow Marine, Omar Fuentes. He's He's a Marine, veteran, mentor and healthcare and business development leader. And I stumbled badly over that. I began stuttering late late. I don't know if it's us. Yeah. I don't know if it's stress, or if it's drinking too much or too little. I'm not sure. But Welcome. I'm so glad Omar and I've been trying to connect for a while now. And one or the other was has to keep actually, usually me keeps canceling things. So again, I'm so glad you're here. Welcome.

Unknown Speaker 0:34
I appreciate it. Thank you for having me on this and having a discussion this lovely afternoon here in Florida.

Unknown Speaker 0:41
Yeah, it's it's kind of kind of yucky out there. I don't know about in Tampa. You're in Tampa, right? Yes, ma'am. Yeah, so I'm in. I'm in Orlando, and it's raining here. I find the rain next to my Windows recently. And I'm very excited because it actually worked. Okay. So first, if you would do me a favor and tell me, because recently, I began focusing more on my podcast has not been about veterans in the past. It's just been about life and any of those things. But recently, because of a variety of things, we've began focusing on Veterans and their stories. And of course, I love my Marines. It doesn't. And I as you know, I'm late, I was late getting to you today because I was chatting with a Vietnam era marine at the VA, and I just love them. And it's awesome. So if you would tell me how you came to be a marine? And then and what you did. And then because all of that speaks to how you ended up here today. So in the Marine Corps isn't everything we are, but it's a large part of who we are. So

Unknown Speaker 1:39
absolutely. So how do I start? So I was actually supposed to join the army.

Unknown Speaker 1:45
Right, that was actual plan.

Unknown Speaker 1:48
And I went to the army recruiter,

Unknown Speaker 1:53
I should probably say, backing up for a second that, you know, I'm a Hispanic New Yorker, so we're already hot headed, and, you know, have a loud mouth. And but when I moved to Florida, I ended up saying, All right, that's it, I'm going to, you know, join the service. And there were some events that led up to that, but did that and someone had recommended just go into the army, you'll you'll go for a couple years, you know, get that under your belt and and come back. And then you can, you know, essentially grow up a little bit. And then, you know, come back and do your thing. So I said, Okay, I didn't really go like that. But yeah, I was like, I've actually made the choice to say yes, so I basically I was in. I lived in maps station for a month. Good grief. Yeah, it was basically like every day had to go back started all over again, right, go back and do the whole and for those of those who are listening have never gone through that process. It's legitimately like an all day or deal from like, six o'clock in the morning that you got to be there. So that means you got to they're probably at 530 till maybe eight o'clock at night or something like that. You go through a whole ordeal. And I was there and you know, every night just shutting it down, actually ended up losing my job and everything like that. I was a little bit had gone to school college for a couple years. Anyways, fast forward to the point where I said, I'm done with this screw it. He dropped me off in the middle of my recruiter was horrible. Army and dropped, you know, went back to the recruiting station. And there was basically like in a shopping plaza, right? Where every branch is right next to each other. That was mine. Yeah, yep. And I said, You know what, I was about to walk to my car. And I saw the marine recruiter was two doors down and walked in. And I said, Hey, you know, how fast can you get me out of here he goes, I can probably get chatting or three weeks and said, okay, and I was going into

Unknown Speaker 3:55
that's the beauty of the break or being small and needing people so much that when you have, they will make concessions for you like that, you know, I ended up in the Marine Corps because they guaranteed me the MLS I wanted so that's, that's the beauty and, and of course, the magic of it. You were talking about being a hot headed, Latino, and the first thing I thought of is, it takes a special kind of crazy to be a marine. And I say the Marine Corps picked me but it was a perfect fit. So I have no doubt it was the same for you.

Unknown Speaker 4:24
Oh, yeah. I mean, it's like basically, there's, you know, what is it 3% of the population are, you know, military or veterans, right? And then it's even a smaller population. Actually, you know, Marines and of course, you're going to special forces in it and, you know, keeps on going.

Unknown Speaker 4:39
Females.

Unknown Speaker 4:40
Yes. That's another thing. Yeah. And especially, I actually was stationed with the very first Marine Corps female sniper. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 4:54
yes. I work pizza box the whole time I was in so I have to truly respect that.

Unknown Speaker 5:00
Yeah, she was 100%. Pretty awesome. So she definitely was was in it. But, you know, again, you're right. I mean, I think that it ended up happening the right way. And I don't think I would have been happy I think I would have you know, not does not you know, I know we always joke between veterans and we joke around but 100% hands down, you know, Marine Corps the best however, you know, I mean, that's the few that proud

Unknown Speaker 5:24
branches. Yeah, my dad, his brother was Navy. My brother was army, but the Marine Corps was perfect for me. None of the others would have been good as Marines. It was perfect for me.

Unknown Speaker 5:34
Yeah. So you know, so anyways, I mean, it like you said, I think it ended up working out really, really well. What I will say is I went back and I signed the contract and everything like that, that day, I went home and I and they asked me again, well, how did it go? And I was like, it went great. I'm joining the Marines. Everybody's mouth dropped my face. Just like wait a minute. Like, we were just talking about you going in the army for a couple years is like no, going to Marine Corps for four years active and four years reserve and you know, going to handle that. So when I went in, though it was

Unknown Speaker 6:09
it was

Unknown Speaker 6:11
I didn't get an A guaranteed mo is like I did really, really poor in high school. You know, just, I don't know, I kind of grew up a little bit later. Probably like most guys do. And I just I went in I was like, Well, what can you get me in as it was really just put me into like admin or operations, but actually ended up getting stationed because I got meritorious you promoted through through schooling, and MCT, marine combat training, all that good stuff. So I was actually able to pick my duty station, and I got Marine Corps security force battalion in Norfolk, Virginia, and then I was actually transferred to training company then then. So that's when I had the opportunity to actually help train Marines do urban warfare.

Unknown Speaker 7:00
This is like, almost a mirror image of the interview I did on Monday, I have to connect, you need to create a Hero Harbor an account, there's a marine in there, his I think, I think it's his staff sergeant, you'll know he has his image has Marine Corps thing on it. But I just interviewed him the other day, and it was sort of a similar path for him. He was combat, he was medically retired, but same sort of path for him. So you guys need to connect, he's amazing. And anyway, so keep going.

Unknown Speaker 7:31
So um, so anyways, you know, went ahead and did that. And honestly, it got to be quite as I got meritorious, it promoted every rank, you know, big Conduct Medal served in when when 911 happened. So they increased our, our normal class to train Marines, right. Um, during that period of time. I say it this way, I was unfortunate that I didn't go overseas, a lot of people say that I was fortunate. But as much as I do that, you know, it was a volunteer service and went in there, and I just I wasn't in the mo was in a position where they were immediately sent me off. Right. And regardless of that, I think I experienced that, you know, I was able to do a lot. And I think, to your point, as you know, kind of brought me to where I'm at today, now that I can help out veterans and, you know, understand the camaraderie, understand the culture, understand, you know, what we were training for, you know, because, as you know, you know, doesn't matter what your MLS is, you're a Marine, you're a rifleman, first. So, so we always constantly train that way, I mean, that they definitely beat up my body pretty had that

Unknown Speaker 8:50
on, on you, and you wouldn't trade it for anything. You just wouldn't,

Unknown Speaker 8:54
I wouldn't, because I mean, you know, you walk around, and it doesn't matter, I remember graduating boot camp, or you're not graduating boot camp, finishing the crucible, I think we were the first class that that actually did the crucible, or one of the first ones and, you know, you, you're, you're, you know, you go there with 60 pounds on your pack, you know, and so I've just got here,

Unknown Speaker 9:20
I think we might do too, because I know you have a hard stop, and in about 30 minutes, if we don't get, we don't get the whole story, then we will stop and we will come back and finish it because I want to get everything from you. So and I know I keep interrupting because there's just so much. But

Unknown Speaker 9:33
yeah, so anyways, I remember just going over, you know, finally finishing the crucible, you know, having 60 pounds on my on my back and getting over and I saw just you know, a ton at the time, I'm like, whatever, 20 years old or something like that, you know, in my mind, these older Marines, right, they're all either retired or separated already. And there, and that's when you realize I have now officially become a Marine, right? And you start seeing all these guys that we fought each other that we you know, try to beat each other up because the drill instructors trained us against each other and all that good stuff, right? But you know, just remember all the basically the blood sweat and tears coming over and saying I finally accomplished this, that not many people can actually say, and then seeing the faces of these will come You know, you know, these veterans now because now I'm an old timer, you know, right, right. You know, and and they they're crying that was it waterworks, every dude, every every, you know, male, female marine that went through the crucible, we cross over that was it, we're just as waterworks all over the place.

Unknown Speaker 10:42
And that's why and anybody who doesn't who isn't a Marine who and that's why we're so close. Because we had been there we you know, 13 weeks of boot camp, all the other stuff that the day to day, you know, beating down of you know, it, it's, it doesn't matter what's your MLS was it doesn't matter whether you were combat service or not, it doesn't matter we hit we know, there's just, we are we we just get it in some aspect, we and again, because we're small, there's few, but we get it. And that's there is just there's nothing in the world like it. Anyway, so keep going.

Unknown Speaker 11:18
I mean, eventually, to be, I guess, pretty transparent. I was I was married in when I was in. I had a you know, had a wonderful boy while I was there. So I actually got out to save my marriage, right? Because it wasn't, it didn't work out.

Unknown Speaker 11:38
So it's harder being a spouse sometimes. Yeah, it's so

Unknown Speaker 11:41
well, yeah. And it was. So afterwards, we ended up, you know, divorce and have a wonderful son, he's actually turning 17 here in a couple of months. However, I thought I wanted to get out to do that. But then also, I wanted to start using kind of I always tell everybody want to start using my head versus my back. Right. Right. So I basically got into the financial services industry. And what I'll tell you though, is the fact is that when I got out, I think, legitimately maybe for the next I don't know, you know, 1012 years after that, I struggled like crazy to fit into civilian life, like I just couldn't, you know, and then I was trying to find my identity. And, you know, and trying to figure out what is it that I'm really going to do? What do I really like to do, I knew I had that, when I you know, I think the Marine Corps helps you to grow up a little bit or any service helps you to grow up a little bit, right. And I realized that I wanted to be a businessman. So I tried to build my business acumen and in multiple different areas. So, you know, I went off on my own and try to, you know, build my own insurance practice and all that good stuff and, and found my way into the court world and, and, you know, recruited in some leadership positions, things like that. But I just was never able to really kind of get that clarity or focus, right.

Unknown Speaker 13:10
And that is you know, that you have some intrinsic value, you know, that you have something to offer, you don't know what it is, and you're struggling, because we don't know what the next path is. We know that there's something. And that's why so many of us, we went from, again, reigns are so proud and it but it's not just Marines, it's many of us, but we go from whatever uniform you're wearing, you can be on any base in the world, you have something in common and all of a sudden you're wearing cities, and you don't and you haven't really been prepared. And so we Yes, we all go through that. And so you were you knew that you had you knew you had some purpose, but you didn't know what it was. And too many of us get caught up in that, oh, I have no value anymore, because because we just haven't figured out what it was. And so the marine I was talking about just a few minutes ago that I'm want to connect you with. He was part of his story, was it his wife, because she made it through the whole thing with him too, but and they're still together, bless his heart and her heart. But she kicked down a bathroom door in a hotel wants to stop him from hanging himself, you know, and he's an amazing person. But we've got you we all go we, most of us go through it. So

Unknown Speaker 14:22
yeah, I think what ended up happening for me was that I one day just said, that's it. You know, I don't know what happened. But I just started thinking I was like, that's it. I was, you know, a marine went, you know, went through a whole lot of other stuff, you know, prior to this. And I said, and I was struggling in one position. And I just said, that's it. I'm going to go all in now, I'm not going to question who I am anymore. I'm going to go all in, you know, I'm Omar, I'm there's some marine veteran, I speak my mind, I'm going to so the moment I made the decision to go all in on being a veteran in that veteran mental quality, right? Instead of trying to conform, right? The people around me, right, because it was, you know, don't don't necessarily speak your mind in a way that you don't be, you know, we can talk to each other and not get offended when we're saying, Hey, listen, that was really a shitty thing to do. Or, you know, you try to do this and that actually kind of suck. But if you do this, then then then I haven't been approved to be

Unknown Speaker 15:24
real with no, yes, exactly.

Unknown Speaker 15:27
So I basically, you know, I didn't I didn't basically talk to people the way I would have, you know, other veterans or Marines, however, my attitude or my, my position was the same, right? So that's when all of a sudden things really started opening up for me. And I started, I was able to take advantage of some leadership opportunities within some of these large companies that I worked for, I actually headed up will excuse me, I was one of the leaders for the Aetna veterans employee resource group. So I basically they lead the entire country for membership and growth within the veterans of the company on you know, within that net, and then that just opened up, you know, a lot more doors and another buddy of mine, Matt Cochran, who is the co host, the Semper Fi project podcast with me, you know, marine as well. And and, you know, we just had the opportunity to sit down and chat as two Marines just having a conversation about life, so to speak. So, I don't know, I just started doing it so that my message turned into just go all in on being a better, right.

Unknown Speaker 16:36
That's kind of Yeah, that's kind of been what's happened for me recently. Yeah. Because, because that's thing I've been told in the past because especially as Marines and and again, I can't speak to any other branch, but we tend to be overachievers. And I have said, I have to be an entrepreneur because either I quit or they fire me. I'm a problem solver. And I've had knuckleheaded people tell me Oh, you don't know how to follow directions. I'm like, forgive me, because I was a marine. I am a marine. Don't tell me I can't follow directions. But just because I said, even when I was in the Marine Corps, just because I said, so. Doesn't necessarily cut it for me. I'm, you know, you, you hire smart person, let them be smart. So yeah, it's a, it's a dual issue for us. Because on the one hand, we are problem solvers, and we're intelligent. And, but we want, we also we hold ourselves a very high standard. And so you're caught between wanting to, you know, fit in and find your place, but also be honest to who you are. And, and that mentality is a large part of who you are. So I

Unknown Speaker 17:45
yeah, I get it. I mean, there's definitely a component of adapting and overcoming Right. I mean, we know that statement pretty well. But so you do have to kind of adapt to the situation, not necessarily conform. And that's where I think that, that a lot of veterans have an issue is effective, that they kind of feel like adapting means I've got to conform to this, and I and you don't, right. And I think that that's the see, like, for me, my I'm nobody can ever change my mind regarding this. But I believe that the gap in leadership and strength within this country right now, because there is some not to say I love this country is the best country, period. Right. But there's definitely you see the politicians and you see teachers and, you know, people, you know, attacking leader, you know, just everybody in his leadership position that people are trying to, to bring them down, or they're bringing upon themselves, but that gap can be filled by veterans, right? Yes, I think we can 100 because we know what it's like to truly reach across the aisle, right? All these politicians are like, Oh, I'm trying to reach across Island, you know, no, you're not, this is how you do it. And you know, we can actually because we have to do that I remember going to boot camp, you know, the foundation of who I am is as I'm a Christian. So, you know, I believe in Jesus and but in boot camp, one of the guys that I had the best conversations with during fire watch and transition, you know, you know, a lot of talk a lot. But he was an atheist. Yeah, he would have the best conversations. And never, we never argued Yeah, for

Unknown Speaker 19:20
different

Unknown Speaker 19:21
exam, different views, right. But we were just like, let's just have a conversation. I don't hate you. You don't hate me. Yes, we go that route, right. But then there was the guy that him and I had the same, you know, Christian values, and I wanted to rent this freakin throw it out. Because I thought he was a friggin jackass,

Unknown Speaker 19:39
I did a recording on Monday special for MLK, and that's one of the things I talked about. I said, because, you know, we, we, and it's because the people who hate like that, it's because they're hurting. They're, they're in pain on the inside, and they can't, you know, and it's easier to lash out. But the thing I said is, you know, we hate on really, because I am an atheist and I am strong in that I am comfortable in that. But I am the kind this most accepting, loving, non judgmental person. Because you because I said, you know, we, we love to say, oh, Muslims are horrible, or this is black people horrible. And you know, what, if I picked you up right now, and don't you in the middle there, and that's in the middle of Iraq or anywhere, and that's where you had grown up all of a sudden, you know, and changed, then you would believe different things, we are a product of how we were raised and what we were taught. And you're in large part Christian, because of the people that grew up, you know, the point is, is that we judge on things that don't make any sense. You know, we don't think about the bigger picture and how you can call it blessed. Or you can call it whatever you want that you were born in America or born Christian or born, whatever. But we have, we need to embrace each other on that human, you know, level if that because that's all that really matters. You know, we all hurt we all bleed, we all love the same. So I'm sorry, that was my little soapbox. But it's all right.

Unknown Speaker 21:01
So now I think to your point that there's there's a component of you get to a point in your life or an age where now becomes a choice, right? It's a choice of who you become or who you are, right? You can't choose who your parents are, you can't cheat, or you can't choose. But then you have to really. And I believe that there's something innate in all of us to have that that ability to make a choice, right. And I think that our life is summed up just by choices. And God only knows I've made so many bad choices in my life. But, but, you know, it's still I'm like, Okay, and then after I make that bad choice, or I make that mistake, or I stumble, whatever it may be now the choices, what do I do moving forward? Right. The other component though, those mistakes,

Unknown Speaker 21:53
I'm sorry, I was saying how do I use those to help others? You know, yeah, those are bad choices,

Unknown Speaker 21:58
stakes, right was that the I was listening to Joe Rogan's podcast, and he basically said, he loves a story of someone who basically falls down, but then picks himself back up, and then wins, right, and whatever that looks like, you know, he's like, it's great that someone has a wonderful life and has accomplished a lot blah, blah, blah, but the better story is, find a screw up, who basically make something of themselves, right and can push forward. And, and I think, to your point, it's, it's making, you know, utilizing that those past experiences, and make making the, you know, the the appropriate choices moving forward. But not only that is is, is I think that when I made the choice of going all in on being a veteran, what I was basically saying was I'm going to hold you who around me accountable, because I want to be held accountable for what I'm doing. And two things happen. Either they're going to run from you, or they're going to rise up with you. Like for me, I was not going to allow anybody to bring me down anymore. Cut off a lot of trouble in my life, I cut off a lot of, you know, if I knew that I was in a certain situation that I was going to make a bad choice in that situation, I cut that off, you know, things like that, it's not to say that we still don't make mistakes, and sometimes you feel like you're being kind of, you know, for me personally, kind of being a hypocrite because, you know, literally literally made mistakes yesterday, or you know, a week ago or a month ago, and some of them big and some of them small, but you still got to kind of push forward right? I think that we're all human beings to kind of to your point. But once I started doing that, going on, like just things started happening, and really kind of fast forward even to today. The one thing that that are cautionary as you go in become a go all in on being a veteran or, or go all in on being you so if this is a broader audience, just go all in on being you right? Because you're not I know, for a fact, I'm not everybody's cup of tea, I'm not going to get along with everybody scattered gonna like me. Yeah. So So for me, though, like, even recently, it's now gaining much more clarity on what I need to do kind of moving forward, right. And we can sit here and beat ourselves up for not being farther along in life or, you know, we're believing the lies that we tell ourselves in our mind, or to your point, the upbringing, or the things that were, you know, placed in you as a kid, essentially, that you kind of grew up believing that line. And I'm much more into that component of being self aware, knowing who you are. So first step is, if you're a veteran, go all in on being a better because, to me, that's, that's that's part of it, if not the solution, part of the biggest solution out there to help fill the gap that's needed in this country today. Right? Good.

Unknown Speaker 24:52
Oh, no, I say, well, and so the book that I wrote, and I put it as part of the podcast and make it more available, but it was honestly speaking, Know thyself, transform your life. And it's that you what once you know wholeheartedly, who you are, what you want, what you value, and you like you said, you can be you 100% you whatever that means, then it makes it easier to every single day, you can, anytime you're in one of those situations, or you come across that it's very simple. It's like, okay, the kind of person that I am the kind of person that I see view myself as what that kind of person do this kind of thing. And when you can say no, when you can say this doesn't equal my values, or Yes, this does fall in with my values, life becomes so much easier, there's no eggs, there's no, you don't have to, you know, because you know who you are. And so you can, and like I said, you can, you can make a much bigger impact. And you can also and you can be much happier when you do you.

Unknown Speaker 25:51
Yeah, 100% I think that the the second point is, you know, going all in on being a veteran and going all in on being you it's, then the mindset for me shifted to I've got to be better than I was yesterday. Yes. So I was just reading something, or listening to something the other day, and I was reading a post, and it basically said that my competition is not my neighbor, my coworker, that other athlete, you know, or the obstacle that's in front of a bowl of light, it's basically means on my own competition. And as long as you know, there was something I still remember to this day. So when Michael Phelps was in the last Olympics, they had a picture of him, and one of one of the other swimmers. And was I think was the 200 meter swim or whatever the case may be. And you see Michael Phelps, looking at the goal of hitting you know that that mark, because it was the last stretch compared to his opponent legitimately looking at him. Yeah, there's no, yeah, at that point. Yeah, that that competitor against Michael Phelps loss, because Michael Phelps knew he needed to exit you. And all he needed to do is continue to be better than he was that you know, the day before, or the meet before, whatever the case will be. So I did that. And then, you know, the other component to that is, let's not just get lost in those things, though. The thing that I'm starting to realize now more than ever, is clarity and focus. Because, you know, I've just, you know, you go all in on being who you are, but the thing is, is that, to be quite honest, we're all messed up. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 27:30
gosh, yeah, we're all screwed up.

Unknown Speaker 27:32
And I wouldn't drink or if we weren't, it takes a special kind of crazy, you know,

Unknown Speaker 27:38
it does. And that that was the look that everybody gave me when I say, I don't know, yeah. But uh, you know, but I think that so you got, you know, you've got to work on yourself. But what I'm trying to do now more than ever, is gain that clarity and focus. So I know that I no longer just want to go from obstacle, obstacle or issue the issue. I actually want to, I'm starting to look at it now is going for, and I'm talking about just literally the Epiphany to me came yesterday, it may not be from anybody else. Or they may be like, Dude, that should have been around the whole time, but

Unknown Speaker 28:15
doesn't matter. It's your it's your journey.

Unknown Speaker 28:18
Yeah. So for me, like I've just realized, like, I need to gain much, you know, clarity and focus, but that all the issues and that crap that I went through. Before that I was always saying, you know, I, you know, here's just another problem. Here's another problem, but hey, I'm a Marine, you know, I, you know, I, I'm an entrepreneur, or, you know, or, you know, business guy and know how to get through this and, and I kept on looking at them as obstacles or issues. Now, it's opportunity. So I'm not going from obstacle to option or from opportunity, opportunity, right? In the Christian world, we kind of call it from glory to glory. And, and those are the things now I really lies something like, wait a minute, you know, every issue that presents itself is really truly an opportunity. You know,

Unknown Speaker 29:07
very often very frequently, because I've had so much crazy stuff happened in my life. I mean, I'm 52 and you couldn't it would be hard to document in a week. Just doesn't matter. The point is, you know, I'll be I'll say something, something that other people consider tragic. And they'll, you know, start getting like, you know, Oh, I'm sorry. It's like, No, I just gloss right over it. Because you know, what? Yeah, at the time, it sucked. But all of those things, as we said earlier, all of those things had to happen and hat and they made me who I am, and put me in the position that I'm in now. And I was actually having I had discussions with several veterans today. This gentleman happened to be army. But as we were saying,

Unknown Speaker 29:48
dang it. Oh, I just lost my train of thought.

Unknown Speaker 29:53
Doesn't matter, just but yeah, the point is, we you know, we we learned from those things, and oh, I know what it was, is your people talking about being lucky? And it's Yes, there's a little bit of luck. But the fact is, once you made that decision, and start embracing all those other things, and you have that positive attitude, the their luck, find you because the world can embrace you in that manner. If you're walking around negative and kicking the curve and being ugly and flipping people off, and there's no way that positive can come your way because the world doesn't know the universe or however you want look at they can't embrace that they don't. There's no way that I wherever I go, I'm smiling, and I'm hugging. I'm complimenting. And when you put that energy out, that's the energy and the luck, that's going to come back to you. So yeah, so that's the conversation he and I were having.

Unknown Speaker 30:43
So I mean, that's a good point, though. Like what I tell everybody is, is is luck is not what what what you think it is, luck is? So when someone's like, Oh, you know that, you know, you're lucky or that person is lucky. Lucky equals work plus opportunity. Yeah. And, and I you break it down even more opportunity is created because of the work that you put in, right. Nobody ever says that when someone a cliche, and I think it's completely false advertising, right? opportunity doesn't knock opportunities created because of the work that you put in. And if you if you combined work plus opportunity, that equals the luck. So luck is not something that's just given to you by a leprechaun at the end of the rainbow. It's something that you strive towards and work towards, right. So it almost negates it now that

Unknown Speaker 31:35
Yes, right. Yes. Well, okay, so an example. So I could I could say that, you know, okay, so for instance, the one marine that I was talking to today, I said something about, you know, emotional physical abuse when I was a child, and he goes, Oh, and I'm like, no. So I could say, I'm actually, I'm lucky that I was treated that way. And I'm lucky that that went after I got a Marine Corps, I got to be almost 300 pounds at one point, and I'm lucky that that all these bad things happened. Because had they not happened, I would not be in a position to save lives and help people and do what I do. So all those bad things, I consider them luck, because they made me who I am, you know, in part now, some of it was, you know, my choice on how I dealt with them. But the fact is, luck is your, it's how you think about it, it's a choice you make. So you know, yeah, luck could be that I was born beautiful, or born intelligent or born a good whatever, or luck could be that I have that and all these bad things. And I was able to combine those. So

Unknown Speaker 32:38
yeah, I just I think and I guess what I mean, we're saying the same thing, I look at them more as, again, going to the the component i was talking about is instead of going from issue to issue a problem or problem, it's opportunity, opportunity, right? Meaning that now I have an opportunity to change something, I have an opportunity to figure out what I need to do to get either through it, over it, around it under it, whatever. And when I say to

Unknown Speaker 33:03
Yes,

Unknown Speaker 33:05
to handle those things, but I think that all of that combined, you got to get to the point where we start becoming very, very clear on on where we want to be who we want to be tomorrow, six months from now, a year from now, five years from now, and so on and so forth. So for me, there's like, I'm legitimately like last night, I remember just saying, you know, smoking a cigar drinking and bourbon, and had a little fire pit, because was little chilly in Florida, and you got to take advantage of all that. And right, just a little bit of a flaming and sat there, and I'm just legitimately thinking about my next move and, you know, taking a big step and doing something, you know, and kind of removing myself from one situation and get to another. And and it's always that, that that gap, though, when you make that decision to, you know, when is it going to actually kick in, right, or when is my decision going to actually produce some fruit, right? And, and it's that and I keep on this thing keeps on coming to my mind. And that's, you know, everything we want is on the opposite side of fear. Right? So and that's what it is. But the other component is, I think that people have to work on in order to gain that clarity and focus his work on enjoying the process of one of the things that my wife tells me all the time, and she's like, I just I want you to just enjoy yourself, right. So I've made a decision to partner with a company go out on my own and and, and, you know, and do some consulting for individuals, families, and some in business for it from an insurance perspective. And, but the thing is, is that I'm so inundated with so many other different things. And when I had that idea, literally just yesterday, of Wait a minute, this is it's going from opportunity to opportunity, it's understanding now that we have to kind of deal with the demons that are inside of us. Right, so that we can enjoy the process. And, you know, it was just funny that, you know, I had that conversation because I'm like, I don't know why I'm not enjoying the process. I'm doing what I said I was going to start doing and now, you know, Now, granted, I think what ends up happening is I got into my own head and and started believing a lot of lies, you know, that I created in myself or the circumstances that I'm not worthy enough for this or I'm deserving, or I'm not good enough. And you know, things like that. And to be quite honest, those are things that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Right. So I'm not standing here from a perspective as a guy like, oh, I've got it all together. Because I'll

Unknown Speaker 35:36
tell you that is full of crap anyway. But um, well and Okay, so I had while you're saying I had I was thinking of something? Ah, oh, OK. So what you were talking about UO the journeys? Yes. So that's the that's probably one of the biggest challenges for me is, I love my life. I love who I am. I love the kind of person now there are days, right? I know my challenges. I know. Because, you know, for me, 16 years of taking the VA psych meds, you know, a couple of has sped up my speed, I don't sleep, those are things. So now I'm trying to do all these things with my additional challenges. And I have, I can't tell you how many times people comes like you need to slow down you need to this is like, Look, it just is what it is. So now we are trying to do we're overachievers we're trying to do these big amazing things. And we're doing it with additional challenges of our own work. And as as we said Marines are special, crazy. But part and so I the same thing, I have to step back and say I love my life, and I love I'm doing but you have these ideas and you want them all, especially when you know you're helping other people or have a desire to help other people. You want it all to happen right now. And so we're caught between wanting to enjoy and you know, I'm single, but even even at that, you know, I have to remind myself to you know, just like you say, slow down and just enjoy it because we want it all now we want to save everyone now we want everything and hindsight being 2020. In retrospect, we can look back and see, okay, this had to happen to make this happen. And so we we appreciate the journey, but at the same time, it's a constant struggle. It really is. And I understand and congrats to your wife for saying that to you too. Because it's, it's tough, you have to constantly remind yourself, so

Unknown Speaker 37:27
yeah, it is I mean, I just think that so I mean, if you think that, you know, you kind of sum it up to those those few things where you're like, you know, you go all in on being who you are. And me specifically speaking to veterans is going on being that because the world needs people to challenge the way that we think, right, and then it's to just focus on being, you know, just compete with yourself focus on being better than you were yesterday. But then the third component is, you know, get get that gain that clarity and focus, so that then you can start working on how to improve yourself a lot more, right. And I think that there's that exponential. So in the financial world, there's an exponential curve, right. So there's a point where you've invested enough money or you've put enough money saved enough money away, where whatever your return on those dollars, actually, you know, I usually use the term savings, because that's what I focus on now. But, but there's that exponential curve where it shoots up, right now, all of a sudden, it's, it's, you know, you've been diligent in persistence on that. And they do. And I think that that's what happens with clarity and focus. So my expectation is that, you know, I continue to work on getting much more clear, focusing on, you know, like, I have these life goals that I write down and, and essentially, I have certain tasks that I got to meet every single one of those life goals. And I'm sorry, if I focus on that, then it allows me the opportunity to actually get better, I'll be honest with you, I haven't been focused on those activities a lot. Now, for me to get the clarity and focus that I need, you know, I've got to start, you know, taking care of you, or I guess, continuing down the path that I have been in trying to be better than I was yesterday, so that I can get that clarity and focus in and experience that exponential curve.

Unknown Speaker 39:23
Alright, so I have a question for you. And I know we need to wrap up here pretty quick. But okay, so what do you do? Because you have so much coming at you. And because you have a family and which requires an additional level of, you know, attention? What do you do for yourself? To? What do you shut out? What do you avoid? What do you I, you know, you mentioned earlier, you know, putting certain people out of your life, what other things do you do in order to keep to allow you to focus on the things that you most needs to focus on? So

Unknown Speaker 40:03
that's kind of a loaded question only because I'll tell you from I'll tell you from just kind of disclaimer, I'm screwing that up right now. Yeah, because of the fact is that, like, my wife tells me, she just told me the other day, she was like, you know, you're adding something else on your plate. So I get to a point sometimes where I keep on adding more things to my plate. And then I have to adventures. Okay, that's it, I gotta cut it off and backwards.

Unknown Speaker 40:29
arrays, we tell ourselves Boy, you should you should be able to handle it, you know, I, what the thing that comes to my head every time is I can and I will, that's all I can and I will but you know what you can only can and will so many things, you still are just one person.

Unknown Speaker 40:41
So I think the first thing is the first thing I but when I'm really doing well, and just being very focused on what my goals? And then specifically my life goals are is I learned how to say no. Right? So the first thing that I did is, for me, personally, you know, we just moved into a new house. And I've purposely, we we were very specific on on why we wanted to purchase this house is because of the community. And honestly, I just cut out going to hang out all the time, right now, I hang out at my house, if someone wants to hang out with me or see me unless it's really a special occasion, I'm probably going to tell you come over to the house. I'm the same way. So, you know, so that I kind of now, I've just learned how to say no to a bunch of things. Right? And, and to be quite honest, no two people. The other thing that I do though, is I have to start combining things. So when I work out, I end up listening to you know, whether it's a podcast, I love

Unknown Speaker 41:52
audio books when I'm driving when I yeah, because when I was promoting my business 3000 miles a month, but I listened to audio books, and I say yes, please say I love it, oh my god

Unknown Speaker 42:01
do that. And then and then when there's something that you really need to sit down and focus, like, I've got to sit down and read a book to help my business out. But I need to read it. And it's literally like a manual and I needed to kind of take notes and focus on that. The other component is, you know, is scheduling, right? So for me, it's I live by my calendar, I actually don't even remember anything really,

Unknown Speaker 42:24
I need to do that, because I'm not good about putting stuff into it.

Unknown Speaker 42:27
And so if someone needs something, I'm like, I'll literally start telling people text me, or I'll forget it, you know, so that I can take that or email me. And you know, my calendar, right? Because, you know, you know, things like that. But then the other the other component is, if if something doesn't fit within my, you know, within a few areas of my life, right? Where I'm focusing on my health, where I'm focusing on my relationships that mean, you know, lots of me where I'm focusing on, you know, my, my, whether it's, you know, my my spirituality, you know, my, my relationship with God or, or my business development, right? If I'm not, if if something doesn't fit in those, right, I don't have time for it, right?

Unknown Speaker 43:18
So I have a suggestion for you. Because I have the same thing I haven't Mine isn't for business. It's it's a book on health, Chinese medicine, nutrition that I want to read. But I listen to audio, because the other thing is I have a challenge sitting still long enough to do that. I would, my suggestion would be record, read that book out loud and record it. Because even then if your mind that way, even if your mind wanders, and you find that you're not thinking you can go back and listen to it, and it's really different listening to it in your own voice. But the point is, because I tried to read these things, and if I don't, I my brain is elsewhere and I haven't paid attention to it. I don't have time for that. So it would just be a suggestion, it might be helpful. Anyway, so Okay, is there any? Do you have any? Okay, you mentioned the simplified project, podcast and now I think you told me earlier that you guys are taking a break for a while and I commend you on that because that's the thing I there are times that what I know what I've had to do with very more speaks is I was holding myself to has to be Tuesday has to be Saturday, but there's sometimes I just didn't have content or things were happening and it's like, you know what, Don, it's not like the masses are out there waiting, are the listenership is climbing. It's It's exciting. But nobody's out there holding their breasts. So you know what? It's okay. Pardon my French, but Huck it, you will get to it when you get to it. And it's more important than to be good quality content. And that's again, going back to you know, trusting the process, trusting that I don't know the path but and giving yourself a break. So all of those things, quit, don't quit lock yourself. I listened to a book A while back that called him rules, bullshit rules. There, you make the rules you it's your thing, you do it. And so yeah, it's what I do, the thing I shut out mostly is news and social media, I only I don't do a lot of reading and stuff of other people's social media. And I'm very, very careful about what I pay attention. I do, don't do any personal Facebook and anything like that, because it can get me off task. And you know, I don't want to get all and there's things that go on and just make me so mad. But I can't or hurt my heart. That's the worst one, when they hurt my heart, and I start crying about you suicides or whatever. I can't be my whole person, I can't help others if I'm off task with that. So that's an important part of things too, is it, you can't be there for your family, you can't be there for your business, as you said, You can't be there for your spirituality, if you're letting things that you cannot affect, like the wall, or anything else. If you allow that stuff into your space and prevent you from doing what you're good at, or what you're mission is, then, you know, you're you're letting yourself down and letting me know the others down to so. So yeah, so what I was trying to ask was, so do you have if if somebody wanted to support your efforts or your missions, is there a way that they can do that? Or we just basically have to wait till we hear from

Unknown Speaker 46:19
from No, I mean?

Unknown Speaker 46:21
Yeah, I mean, like, I think that there's a component where we're trying to be very consistent, I think that there's definitely something to be said on on, you know, your specific goals, whatever those areas that you're working on in your life, you know, again, for me, it's, you know, health relationship, you know, my mind, you know, which also includes my spirit, and then you know, business, if it doesn't, you know, I'm very specific, and I try to be to go after those things and be consistent in those areas. So we're trying to be much more consistent on the podcast side. So if folks go to Matthew J. cochrane.com. And that's, you know, Matthew j, and then CO chran.com. You'll see the Semper Fi project podcast there. You can always follow me on Facebook, which is, you know, Omar, fluent, this SFP for Semper Fi project. And then on Instagram, I think I'm the same thing, Omar. You know, what this underscore? Yes, it sure.

Unknown Speaker 47:25
Yeah. I don't know if I'm following but ZL so that we can share this stuff when we're done. But

Unknown Speaker 47:29
yeah, I mean, I think those are the best ways to kind of, you know, get a hold of me. I mean, I've I've had conversations with people on the west coast, I've had,

Unknown Speaker 47:38
oh, yeah, in the Midwest and things like

Unknown Speaker 47:40
that, I think I actually legitimately just got my wife and I just got an invitation to a wedding. from someone that I that that found me on.

Unknown Speaker 47:50
Yeah, and I love that. And the same thing. So and, and of course, I, I'm going to call you out right now, I know that as soon as we are sometime this afternoon, or by the end of this, this week, I'm going to see your new profile in the app, because that's the whole point with Hero Harbor is that and I speak into confusing people were a minute over it, you know, that can vary more speaks and HH. And all it's confusing to people. But that that's the idea with Hero Harbor is to connect those of us who you know, in a much quieter space without the, the, you know, the fire hose, junk ID and Facebook, and the scammers and all that stuff, because there's an ID verification. And I also and I want to help, because I have connected, you know, several of these people, you know, I know, like, for instance, and I'll say this really quick, and then we're going to finish up here. And, you know, like, I know a person who basically has an Etsy for veterans, you know, in terms of, you know, artwork, and I know a whole bunch of veterans who could use the services, but they don't know about him. And so that's what the other thing I the other component of HH is to, is to give us a platform for those of us who have causes or veteran run businesses, so that we can find each other quickly and easily the people that you know that we need so so I know you will need creating an account. But thank you, I'm so glad we finally got to do this and do me a favor. You said your wife came up give her a hug for me. Tell her tell her Thank you so much. Because I know how difficult it is being a part of the life of somebody like you and I it's oh my gosh, it's tough. So thank you. And thank you for your service.

Unknown Speaker 49:26
Thank you. Yeah, well thanks for letting me Yeah. Get a spot here on your on your

Unknown Speaker 49:32
you have something new to share. Just let me know we can we can do this. You know, I have to if I have to post something every single day, Hey, no big deal. We got you know, the, we need to connect and we need to get this message out the people who think like us, we need to gather together and get that, you know, we need to help each other because there's so many people who need us and they can't. We can't help them if they if we can't get to them. So if you there's changes that you want to talk about you just let me know. So

Unknown Speaker 49:58
got it.